1. Secret happiness which is steady but beautifully delicate
2. Three minutes of happiness borrowed from a dog
3. Traditional lying down happiness
4. The happiness that comes from staring at a rock
5. Happiness blended with a mysterious sadness
6. The strange happiness associated with seeing a meteorite or shooting star
7. Diffuse, residual happiness resulting from rhythmic domestic tasks such as washing the dishes
09 October, 2009
06 September, 2009
Overcoming current challenges
Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all ~ Emily Dickenson
Visualising preferred futures can help to stay positive and keep your motivation alive. This doesn’t mean ignoring or avoiding the hard stuff. It’s about actively working with and engaging with challenges to work towards a happier and brighter future.
Struggle is part of change and the process of transformation. Helpful struggle is purposeful – like the story of the butterfly who had to struggle to emerge from its cocoon – it needed to flex its wings get them to spread and dry before the butterfly can use them to fly. A man, who felt sorry for a struggling butterfly, opened the cocoon to let it out more easily. The butterfly’s wings did not stretch and dry and so it was never able to fly, and instead remained vulnerable to being eaten.
It is not about having an adversity-free life that creates wellbeing. It is about having the confidence that one can find a way to master adversity, and getting support to develop this mastery.
What helps you to hang in there? What makes you more hopeful?
What are some of the steps you might put in place to overcome the challenges that impinge upon your happiness?
As that person doing one of the difficult things you have to face, how would you be managing it?
Without the current challenges what would become possible?
What would be different? What else?
What are you most looking forward to when the current challenges are gone?
What might you come to appreciate about the challenges in your life?
Visualising preferred futures can help to stay positive and keep your motivation alive. This doesn’t mean ignoring or avoiding the hard stuff. It’s about actively working with and engaging with challenges to work towards a happier and brighter future.
Struggle is part of change and the process of transformation. Helpful struggle is purposeful – like the story of the butterfly who had to struggle to emerge from its cocoon – it needed to flex its wings get them to spread and dry before the butterfly can use them to fly. A man, who felt sorry for a struggling butterfly, opened the cocoon to let it out more easily. The butterfly’s wings did not stretch and dry and so it was never able to fly, and instead remained vulnerable to being eaten.
It is not about having an adversity-free life that creates wellbeing. It is about having the confidence that one can find a way to master adversity, and getting support to develop this mastery.
What helps you to hang in there? What makes you more hopeful?
What are some of the steps you might put in place to overcome the challenges that impinge upon your happiness?
As that person doing one of the difficult things you have to face, how would you be managing it?
Without the current challenges what would become possible?
What would be different? What else?
What are you most looking forward to when the current challenges are gone?
What might you come to appreciate about the challenges in your life?
01 September, 2009
Autobiography in five short chapters
by Portia Nelson (1994)
Chapter 1
I walk down the street and there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost.
I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
Chapter 2
I walk down the same street; there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street; there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in & it's a habit, but my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter 5
I walk down another street.
Chapter 1
I walk down the street and there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost.
I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
Chapter 2
I walk down the same street; there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street; there is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall in & it's a habit, but my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter 5
I walk down another street.
28 August, 2009
Enduring happiness versus transitory happiness
Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for ~ Joseph Addison
Comapre what you think makes you happy with what you know really makes your happy. Some things we pursue don’t bring lasting pleasure, only short term enjoyment. We momentarily weigh up experiencing immediate pleasures versus longer delayed effects which may or may not eventuate. Martin Seligman in his book, Authentic Happiness (2002) describes three kinds of happiness which he says combine to make a full life:
The pleasant life: This involves positive emotions and things we like doing. Because these pleasures are transitory they do not bring lasting happiness.
The good life: using your strengths in your life and drawing on the resources you need, appropriate to the context, that make a difference to improve a situation.
The meaningful life: using your strengths and virtues in the service of something to bring a wider meaning to your life. Living a meaningful life brings about the highest level of sustained happiness.
Consider all the things that you desire being able to do. Now think about all the activities that bring about happiness when you are actually doing them. How do your answers differ? Most people are surprised to discover there is a difference between that which they desire, or they think will make them happy, and those things that actually bring about happiness.
What do you enjoy doing that brings happiness to your life? How can you do more of that?
What supports you in discovering happiness in your life?
What might you notice when happiness has a stronger presence in your life?
Comapre what you think makes you happy with what you know really makes your happy. Some things we pursue don’t bring lasting pleasure, only short term enjoyment. We momentarily weigh up experiencing immediate pleasures versus longer delayed effects which may or may not eventuate. Martin Seligman in his book, Authentic Happiness (2002) describes three kinds of happiness which he says combine to make a full life:
The pleasant life: This involves positive emotions and things we like doing. Because these pleasures are transitory they do not bring lasting happiness.
The good life: using your strengths in your life and drawing on the resources you need, appropriate to the context, that make a difference to improve a situation.
The meaningful life: using your strengths and virtues in the service of something to bring a wider meaning to your life. Living a meaningful life brings about the highest level of sustained happiness.
Consider all the things that you desire being able to do. Now think about all the activities that bring about happiness when you are actually doing them. How do your answers differ? Most people are surprised to discover there is a difference between that which they desire, or they think will make them happy, and those things that actually bring about happiness.
What do you enjoy doing that brings happiness to your life? How can you do more of that?
What supports you in discovering happiness in your life?
What might you notice when happiness has a stronger presence in your life?
15 August, 2009
Our purpose
The purpose of our existence is to seek happiness ~ The 14th Dalai Lama
One thing we can be certain of is change. In our changing world opportunities are continually presented to us. Fortunately it also means no problem happens all of the time. We all face choices about how we view our lives, the people around us, and our futures. Adopting a positive approach to life and our future involves prioritising happiness in your life, making plans to be happy and doing things that promote wellbeing and happiness as often as possible.
One thing we can be certain of is change. In our changing world opportunities are continually presented to us. Fortunately it also means no problem happens all of the time. We all face choices about how we view our lives, the people around us, and our futures. Adopting a positive approach to life and our future involves prioritising happiness in your life, making plans to be happy and doing things that promote wellbeing and happiness as often as possible.
14 August, 2009
Creating a happiness support network
Look for supporters who will encourage you as well as share their ideas and resources. One way of gaining support is to create a happiness support network. Creating well-being and extra happiness takes time, effort and information. There are many examples of people creating clubs, groups, networks to assist one another and also to share information. You could plan to meet at regular intervals to talk about how your lifestyle makeover is going, sharing ideas and supporting each other. Encourage each other along the way and celebrate your achievements.
How can you best get support while developing your path of possibilities?
Who do you know who would like to join you in creating extra happiness?
How can you share resources and encourage each other in achieving your goals – short term and long term?
How can you best get support while developing your path of possibilities?
Who do you know who would like to join you in creating extra happiness?
How can you share resources and encourage each other in achieving your goals – short term and long term?
13 August, 2009
From little things big things grow...
Surprisingly, often small things can create a dramatic change. You may have heard of this as the butterfly effect. Edward Lorenz, the founder of Chaos theory, said butterfly's wings might create tiny changes in the atmosphere and could ultimately alter the path of a tornado or delay, accelerate or even prevent the occurrence of a tornado in a certain location. The flapping wing represents a small change in life, which causes a chain of events leading to large-scale alterations of events. Had the butterfly not flapped its wings, who knows what might have happened?
Start with something that matters to you, is easy for you give it a go, and is something that you are likely to succeed at – nothing breeds success like success!
What can be done now to quickly bring some more happiness into your life?
In which parts of your life are you most likely to succeed at inviting some more happiness into your life?
Start with something that matters to you, is easy for you give it a go, and is something that you are likely to succeed at – nothing breeds success like success!
What can be done now to quickly bring some more happiness into your life?
In which parts of your life are you most likely to succeed at inviting some more happiness into your life?
12 August, 2009
If it works, don't fix it
A solution-focused brief therapy approach to counselling, developed by Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg in the 1980s, focuses on the enabling changes that people want to create in their life to bring about greater happiness. The brief solution-focused approach to achieving happiness in your life, is simple, although not always easy, and goes like this:
1. Develop a vivid richly detailed picture of what happiness will look like in your life
2. Think about what you DO in your life and
a. If it works, don’t fix it
b. If it works, do more of it
c. If it doesn’t work, do something different
3. Give yourself a pat on the back for what you are already doing that does make you happy, and keep taking small steps to expand your happiness even more.
1. Develop a vivid richly detailed picture of what happiness will look like in your life
2. Think about what you DO in your life and
a. If it works, don’t fix it
b. If it works, do more of it
c. If it doesn’t work, do something different
3. Give yourself a pat on the back for what you are already doing that does make you happy, and keep taking small steps to expand your happiness even more.
Creating happiness
Creating more happiness in your life is about having a lifestyle that you intend and create, rather than one that just happens to you or is based on things you don’t truly value. Increasing happiness involves tapping into your strengths, identifying your goals, looking for supports and celebrating success. Ultimately it's about discovering what is most important in your life and setting out on a journey to sustainable long term well-being.
11 August, 2009
Why focus on happiness?
What do you see as the benefit of creating extra happiness in your life?
What might extra happiness bring to your life?
My vision for this blog is as a guide that offers practical ideas and asks questions from a bird's eye view. By saying this I mean it is aimed at helping us swoop back and take a peek at the big picture. Birds get to see things from a great perspective! I have always loved flying in aeroplanes for this reason. When I am up in the clouds I can literally and mentally float above my life, look down and think "Am I heading in the right direction?" "Am I doing what I really want to be doing?" and most importantly, "What makes me happy?"
Some of the possible reasons for wanting to create extra happiness in your life might be that you would like to become more optimistic and hopeful, have a better appreciation of your skills, strengths and abilities, feel better in yourself, find your life’s purpose or take steps to achieve your goals.
What might extra happiness bring to your life?
My vision for this blog is as a guide that offers practical ideas and asks questions from a bird's eye view. By saying this I mean it is aimed at helping us swoop back and take a peek at the big picture. Birds get to see things from a great perspective! I have always loved flying in aeroplanes for this reason. When I am up in the clouds I can literally and mentally float above my life, look down and think "Am I heading in the right direction?" "Am I doing what I really want to be doing?" and most importantly, "What makes me happy?"
Some of the possible reasons for wanting to create extra happiness in your life might be that you would like to become more optimistic and hopeful, have a better appreciation of your skills, strengths and abilities, feel better in yourself, find your life’s purpose or take steps to achieve your goals.
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